FUCK EVERYTHING. LOL!

Lol.

K fine. i will just give up. fine. :) I will be fine. Much happier than now.

If only

I actually have no idea what to write.

You choose to ignore me.

I haven't got any answers from you.

So be it.

If you're meant to go.

I will let you go.

I'm tired of thinking of you day and night.

tired of worrying about you.

I'm tired of seeing the room so messy and yet hoping you're coming back to put your stuff back here.

I'm tired of trying to see you so hard and yet you avoid me so badly.

But i've never tired of loving you.

I need a chance.

I need a chance for everything i regret.

Who will give me?

It's only one try that i need. One try to prove that am i worth it.

I still can't accept the fact that you left me.

Yes. It's you who left me.

I asked for break up but i swear that i'm just mad.

Just so mad that i thought it over and realized what i'd done is wrong.

I shouldn't choose to give up.

Because i still remember about those promises we made.

We need to hold on each other.

Give in and not give up.

Thats what i always said in the past.

Now when i gave in, you chose to give up.

What is this? Does whoever break up with whoever bothers you?

The fact is that we're apart now.

You choose, not to give me a chance.

I know u still love me.

I know u do care about me.

No matter how hard i tried to believe that you already stopped loving me.

No that's not in a couple of days time to forget a relationship that we build up over a year.

Hey i wanna thank you, thank you for making me wake up.

Thank you for realizing what i need to do.

But i dunno in future. Will you still be the motivation?

Will you still be the reason why i work hard for?

I'm doing this not for myself.

It's for my future. our future.

Lastly, i've never give up.

2 in 1 post

Today, i feel good.

WHY?

I went for a interview, the interviewer said i impressed her. With such young age i manage to impress her.

She advance me to round 2 of interview. Saying its special because normally others will know the results of interview after discussion with manager. I got directly advanced to round 2 from her.

I'm very happy. I wanna share with you so much. I will prove you that i'm not useless. I am useful. I can give u happiness.

I WILL PROVE THOSE WHO LOOKED DOWN ON ME. I WILL MAKE MY MARK.

Awhile ago.. My mum just asked something.

Mum : bella leh?

Me : we broke up.

Mum : why say break jiu break?

Me : break then break le. Dun keep asking can. :/

Mum : Its all your fault, such a good girl why break.

If you didn't play the comp the whole day, she won't leave you.

She's a good girl, you are useless, she's polite when she came. Its you who influence her.

If you dun feel sad about it. I DO FEEL SAD.

Do your best to get her back.

You must woo her back.

It gives me the feeling that she's gonna cry..

Of course this conversation is in chinese. I translated it.

I actually can't believe i heard this from my mum. Not because she said i'm useless. It's how she praised you.

No matter how much she used to nag at you, making you pissed. She actually said this.

Everyone in my family misses you, you're part of my family already. Can't you feel the warmth we wanted to give you?

Im sorry

I'm sorry i constantly want to talk to you.

I'm sorry when u take long to reply, i get sad.

I'm sorry when i said things that might piss u.

I'm sorry i come off as annoying.

I'm sorry if you don't wanna talk to me as much as i want to talk to you.

I'm sorry that i think about you too much and too often.

I'm sorry that i tell u my pointless drama when you dun really care.

I'm sorry if i come off as being clingy, but it's just me that missing you.

Sweet sweet you

Looking at my past. Brings back memories of you. How we met. How i chase you. How persistent i am. Yet today, I actually ruined my own hard work. We've not be out together for quite some time. I'm stupid. Yes i am. The reply that u said im stupid is flowing in my mind all the time. How stupid can i be. Can you wake up ur fuckin idea? I am awake now, but its too late.

What can i do? live a happy life with so much pain.

Move on and continue lying to everyone that i'm fine.

Where's the promises we made before you left?

I am alone. I really is.

I tried moving on. Who gives me a chance?

No i am not mad with anybody. I'm just too upset.

I will be strong, i am trying hard to be strong.

At the same time. I wanna prove you i can take care of you in future.

I wanna prove you that i love you all my life.

But today's situation is far worst than how we just met.

You have no crush in me now, i upset you.

You have no more confident in me now, i deceived you.

You love me no more, i hurt your heart.

There's nothing i can do for you, except that hoping you will cool down.

Think of me sometimes. Think of the memories, it might bring u some smile.

I feel so stupid, so dumb.

Why did i even let go in the first place? because of anger? i'm so dumb. so so dumb.

No matter what i do now i just think of you.

Waking up at a timing when you normally knock off.

Wishing you to give me a smile at the window.

Asking me to open the door, cook for you.

I still don't understand.. Why did our relationship become so hard.

Why did i do those ridiculous thing that upset you.

How am i suppose to move on without you?

You're so sweet, you're so so sweet.

Looking at all the post u wrote in my blog.

I hate myself. I hate myself for not cherishing you.

I hate everything i done that upsets you.

I hate the trust that i once dun believe you.

I hate to make things worst than eventually end up this way.

I recalled alot alot of things. Really..

I .. am sorry..

Wenbin

I smiled

I smiled, when i thought of our past.

I smiled, when i looked at your pictures.

I smiled, when i read those captions.

& still, i smiled because i know i love you even more than before.

Oh baby,

I can't wait to do many other things together with you.

I can't wait to see you in my arms once again.

I can't wait to look into your eyes, and telling you that i love you.

You're the one that i always yearn for.

You're the one that i always want to protect.

You're the one that can brighten up my day with just a smile.

You're the only only one that i love..

Just dun give up in me.

Remember the promises before u left.

Because i will never forget what i wanna do.

After this lesson i realized how much i love you, how much i needed you, how important you're to me.

There're so many things i wanna talk with you, share with you.

Those things u haven't done before.

I wanna be the first guy, i want to bring u more beautiful memories.

I wanna bring you to see my grandparents.

I wanna have overseas trip with you.
So many things to list..

I miss you, real lots.

Please, wait for me.. Don't give up in me.

I love you baby.

The end.

Its over. I don't know if its officially. Because we dint talk to each other after our last fight.

Im shattered. I don't know how to describe this feeling. It's so pain inside. But im trying hard to stay strong, mentally.

It's going to be 14th month in 3 days time. I never expect it to end it this way.

Well, after all these fights. I'm already lost. I don't know what i really what, and what you really need.

I thought everything will be better when i manage to get a job. For me, for us.

But still, things you did i don't really like it. P.S I'm not going details.

All in my mind was you, as well as my heart.

You are in both all the time. I've never thought of cheating on you, i swear.

But i have no idea where i'm placed . In your heart? or in your mind.

Yes. Although i'm a letdown in many ways. I know. Sorry.

It's really a sweet start. And i love that feeling.

I really thought this relationship will last.. Very very long.

I've thought of engagement. But it seems that we couldn't make it till that day.

I really appreciate what you gave me all this while.

I love you.