WENBIN'S LIFESTORY

2011-11-02T19:17:00.003+08:00

You're such a big influence and yet u left me alone without telling me why?

You're such a big selfish liar. You're so fuckin selfish. The most selfish person i ever known.

2011-10-30T21:52:00.000+08:00

FUCK EVERYTHING. LOL!

Lol.

2011-10-30T18:29:00.001+08:00

K fine. i will just give up. fine. :) I will be fine. Much happier than now.

If only

2011-10-30T12:34:00.002+08:00

I actually have no idea what to write.

You choose to ignore me.

I haven't got any answers from you.

So be it.

If you're meant to go.

I will let you go.

I'm tired of thinking of you day and night.

tired of worrying about you.

I'm tired of seeing the room so messy and yet hoping you're coming back to put your stuff back here.

I'm tired of trying to see you so hard and yet you avoid me so badly.

But i've never tired of loving you.

I need a chance.

I need a chance for everything i regret.

Who will give me?

It's only one try that i need. One try to prove that am i worth it.

I still can't accept the fact that you left me.

Yes. It's you who left me.

I asked for break up but i swear that i'm just mad.

Just so mad that i thought it over and realized what i'd done is wrong.

I shouldn't choose to give up.

Because i still remember about those promises we made.

We need to hold on each other.

Give in and not give up.

Thats what i always said in the past.

Now when i gave in, you chose to give up.

What is this? Does whoever break up with whoever bothers you?

The fact is that we're apart now.

You choose, not to give me a chance.

I know u still love me.

I know u do care about me.

No matter how hard i tried to believe that you already stopped loving me.

No that's not in a couple of days time to forget a relationship that we build up over a year.

Hey i wanna thank you, thank you for making me wake up.

Thank you for realizing what i need to do.

But i dunno in future. Will you still be the motivation?

Will you still be the reason why i work hard for?

I'm doing this not for myself.

It's for my future. our future.

Lastly, i've never give up.

2 in 1 post

2011-10-28T13:58:00.003+08:00

Today, i feel good.

WHY?

I went for a interview, the interviewer said i impressed her. With such young age i manage to impress her.

She advance me to round 2 of interview. Saying its special because normally others will know the results of interview after discussion with manager. I got directly advanced to round 2 from her.

I'm very happy. I wanna share with you so much. I will prove you that i'm not useless. I am useful. I can give u happiness.

I WILL PROVE THOSE WHO LOOKED DOWN ON ME. I WILL MAKE MY MARK.

Awhile ago.. My mum just asked something.

Mum : bella leh?

Me : we broke up.

Mum : why say break jiu break?

Me : break then break le. Dun keep asking can. :/

Mum : Its all your fault, such a good girl why break.

If you didn't play the comp the whole day, she won't leave you.

She's a good girl, you are useless, she's polite when she came. Its you who influence her.

If you dun feel sad about it. I DO FEEL SAD.

Do your best to get her back.

You must woo her back.

It gives me the feeling that she's gonna cry..

Of course this conversation is in chinese. I translated it.

I actually can't believe i heard this from my mum. Not because she said i'm useless. It's how she praised you.

No matter how much she used to nag at you, making you pissed. She actually said this.

Everyone in my family misses you, you're part of my family already. Can't you feel the warmth we wanted to give you?

Im sorry

2011-10-27T10:29:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry i constantly want to talk to you.

I'm sorry when u take long to reply, i get sad.

I'm sorry when i said things that might piss u.

I'm sorry i come off as annoying.

I'm sorry if you don't wanna talk to me as much as i want to talk to you.

I'm sorry that i think about you too much and too often.

I'm sorry that i tell u my pointless drama when you dun really care.

I'm sorry if i come off as being clingy, but it's just me that missing you.

Sweet sweet you

2011-10-27T05:36:00.002+08:00

Looking at my past. Brings back memories of you. How we met. How i chase you. How persistent i am. Yet today, I actually ruined my own hard work. We've not be out together for quite some time. I'm stupid. Yes i am. The reply that u said im stupid is flowing in my mind all the time. How stupid can i be. Can you wake up ur fuckin idea? I am awake now, but its too late.

What can i do? live a happy life with so much pain.

Move on and continue lying to everyone that i'm fine.

Where's the promises we made before you left?

I am alone. I really is.

I tried moving on. Who gives me a chance?

No i am not mad with anybody. I'm just too upset.

I will be strong, i am trying hard to be strong.

At the same time. I wanna prove you i can take care of you in future.

I wanna prove you that i love you all my life.

But today's situation is far worst than how we just met.

You have no crush in me now, i upset you.

You have no more confident in me now, i deceived you.

You love me no more, i hurt your heart.

There's nothing i can do for you, except that hoping you will cool down.

Think of me sometimes. Think of the memories, it might bring u some smile.

I feel so stupid, so dumb.

Why did i even let go in the first place? because of anger? i'm so dumb. so so dumb.

No matter what i do now i just think of you.

Waking up at a timing when you normally knock off.

Wishing you to give me a smile at the window.

Asking me to open the door, cook for you.

I still don't understand.. Why did our relationship become so hard.

Why did i do those ridiculous thing that upset you.

How am i suppose to move on without you?

You're so sweet, you're so so sweet.

Looking at all the post u wrote in my blog.

I hate myself. I hate myself for not cherishing you.

I hate everything i done that upsets you.

I hate the trust that i once dun believe you.

I hate to make things worst than eventually end up this way.

I recalled alot alot of things. Really..

I .. am sorry..

Wenbin

I smiled

2011-10-26T09:56:00.002+08:00

I smiled, when i thought of our past.

I smiled, when i looked at your pictures.

I smiled, when i read those captions.

& still, i smiled because i know i love you even more than before.

Oh baby,

I can't wait to do many other things together with you.

I can't wait to see you in my arms once again.

I can't wait to look into your eyes, and telling you that i love you.

You're the one that i always yearn for.

You're the one that i always want to protect.

You're the one that can brighten up my day with just a smile.

You're the only only one that i love..

Just dun give up in me.

Remember the promises before u left.

Because i will never forget what i wanna do.

After this lesson i realized how much i love you, how much i needed you, how important you're to me.

There're so many things i wanna talk with you, share with you.

Those things u haven't done before.

I wanna be the first guy, i want to bring u more beautiful memories.

I wanna bring you to see my grandparents.

I wanna have overseas trip with you.
So many things to list..

I miss you, real lots.

Please, wait for me.. Don't give up in me.

I love you baby.

The end.

2011-10-24T19:29:00.003+08:00

Its over. I don't know if its officially. Because we dint talk to each other after our last fight.

Im shattered. I don't know how to describe this feeling. It's so pain inside. But im trying hard to stay strong, mentally.

It's going to be 14th month in 3 days time. I never expect it to end it this way.

Well, after all these fights. I'm already lost. I don't know what i really what, and what you really need.

I thought everything will be better when i manage to get a job. For me, for us.

But still, things you did i don't really like it. P.S I'm not going details.

All in my mind was you, as well as my heart.

You are in both all the time. I've never thought of cheating on you, i swear.

But i have no idea where i'm placed . In your heart? or in your mind.

Yes. Although i'm a letdown in many ways. I know. Sorry.

It's really a sweet start. And i love that feeling.

I really thought this relationship will last.. Very very long.

I've thought of engagement. But it seems that we couldn't make it till that day.

I really appreciate what you gave me all this while.

I love you.

I miss you

2011-04-18T05:37:00.001+08:00

Yeah, like the title suggests...
I.
Miss.
You.

<3

Sven.

Falling apart at midnight

2011-04-16T04:34:00.005+08:00

I don't want to worry you but I really need you now.
I'm falling apart at midnight. With nobody to hold on to, my head hurts.
My heart hurts.
I miss everything. I miss MY FAMILY. I miss everything so much that I'm so heartbroken.
My tears are falling for I-don't-know-what reasons.
But I just know I want to hold you so tight now.
The alcohol is blurring out my vision but I still want to hold on.

Sven.

A family?

2011-04-16T04:04:00.002+08:00

Hi to the people, I call mom and dad. I cry now when I think of the both of you, not because both of you are dead. But because even when both of you are alive, it's nothing better than being dead. Not that I wish that you two were. I cry when I talk to my older brothers, because I miss us having lame gaming conversations all the time when we used to live together. And I miss the homemade food the most, the world's best cooking. You know what I just wish you two would do to make us one big family again? Could you both please just wake up the idea that you are never going to be billionaires? Because your "dreams" and "goals" smashed this family apart. I thought being happy was simple. At least last time, simple life made us happy.

Sven.

More than words

2010-12-16T01:32:00.005+08:00

I just felt that tonight will be the best time to write something. Or I will forget all the minor and major things I want to say.

For the first time in my life, I have been touched deep down in my heart. Thank you. All the things you do for me, I will never forget. And thank you, for never letting go of my hand down the toughest road so far.

I love you. It is small and may look meaningless, but all I feel is definitely more than these three words.

You have been patient, been concerned, been worried. And you are still at it. Constantly trying to catch me before I fall. Always trying to be the first person to get to me. I am so afraid that, one day, you will be so weary, you will stop trying. I figured, then it shall be when I start to worry about you leaving me. But, that is too late. I do not want to lose you then and harbor regrets.

I never want to have any regrets with or concerning you.

With each step I take,
I remember,
Where I belong. Where I am from.
With each move I make,
I remember,
What will I do. If I were you.
Then I will recall,
With each smile you fake,
When you are hurt.
And that big or small,
Lies are lies.

Sven.

2010-12-05T23:49:00.001+08:00

I love you.

Love does not make the world go round, instead...
It makes the ride worthwhile.

B.

2010-12-04T04:05:00.003+08:00

I hope that these 2 days im still in camp.

really got no point booking out.

doing nothing but looking at the screen for fuckin dunno how many hours.

really.

drink abit also drink.

i damn lazy to care.

2 more hours and im fuckin leaving this house.

where are you?

happily having fun.

i bet you din even think of me.

sigh.

whole day you only call me 2x.

damn nice.

♫Perfect - Hedley♫

2010-11-26T01:05:00.002+08:00

Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I wrong

I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying

♫Perfect - Hedley♫

I am so sorry

2010-11-24T01:15:00.011+08:00

Life was fine until recently,

I am sorry for not having been honest with you and myself. I have been so selfish -- pushing blames here and there. Living my life an entire lie.
I can and I will change.

I can smoke a lot less.
I can spend a lot less.
I can not take cabs at all.
I can find a better job.
I will do whatever I have to do...
To be less of a burden to you..
And everyone else who had to suffer along with me.

As if your life was not hard enough, all I did was made it harder...
I know I suck and I am terribly sorry about it.

At least now that I am living with you, I will not have to bring a single cent home.
For the first time in my life, I am going to start working for money that will belong to only me.
And till I settle down, I am going to be much of a problem...
Dakara.. Don't ~~leave~~ me, okay?

Yes, it is the first time that I am so too afraid of being alone. Too much fear and pressure to comprehend, it might just succeed in driving me insane.

B, Sven.

2010-11-22T02:04:00.002+08:00

Today's a bad bad day.

This long weekend, gave me lots of fun and well as time to spend with you :>

But damn,

Last minute got this shit happened.

Kinda, phail.. :/

Baby baby,

Cheer up , i know ur not down..

Im with you, always..

You know what?

2010-11-17T18:04:00.015+08:00

You know what?

All of a sudden, something hit me.

Do I or do I not have friends? True friends.

Because for certain, when I flipped through my mobile's contact list. I realized, more than three quarters of the people were those I do not even know well. More like, I do not even talk to them or most of the time, I try to start a conversation and fail, likewise vice versa...

Then it dawned on me.

I had Kurogi.

I have you.

But besides you, I have nobody else to talk to.

When I am bored, I resort to asking people for DotA games.

Then it dawned on me again.

Where are the people I used to call a clique?

I ~~was~~am alone.

I work 6 days a week, sometimes 7. I have all the money that I can spend. But what do I spend on? Cigarettes. Cab. Mobile top-up cards. Makeup. Less clothes. And a ~~damned~~ family. Where else do I go to? Besides to work and back home. I do not get invitations to outings and gatherings. Or more like, I seem to be only invited because I am with you. Then I am down to watching anime. To make myself seem more occupied. I started to motivate myself into training something to become better, like DotA. Where have I gone so far? Nowhere. I got bored of training alone. Thus, I believe that I cannot achieve anything alone.

When I believed that finally, I had people to talk to. I was happy and excited. And then, I was told, my so-called "mistake" made everybody lose their trust in me. I have no regrets. For my choice made me a happier person, though no longer trustworthy in their eyes. But for certain, I was being isolated again. I am not anti-social. But why is everybody not talking to me?

I am told to be "living in my own world", I do not see the "bigger picture". I had a chance to drive out isolation. A pillar of reliance came. But I chose to move away. For what? For what did I move away for?

Is anything going to change for the better? Or for the worse?

Or am I just going to laugh things off.. Like how I would always do.

One of the best things that happened in my life. Have I told you before? My very first birthday party. Though it was not just mine alone. I was happy. Because I got to see all the people who were friends gathering together to celebrate somebody's birthday. It felt rare and weird but at the same time, there was a special atmosphere to it. When I was young, my birthday was always with my family. There was a cake. Presents. Then when I grew up, it no longer mattered. Not anymore. The entire family was only bothered with: Money. Cake? Lol. Presents? LOL. My first birthday at work. Only one person cared. I had a cake to celebrate with my bosses. Then at the end of the year, that same person had a grander celebration than mine in which most of the people turned up for. People who turned up included whom that person did not even care if they existed. I was envious. I sulked. But who is to blame? Except. Me. I am that much unsignificant anyway. I am told to be contented when I expressed my feelings. If I had only been half as good as that person, maybe I could have had a celebration as grand. But does it matter?

Being isolated is not that bad, deshou? Tell me it is alright.

Kurogi's passing

2010-11-15T12:17:00.006+08:00

Day 7, Sunday, November 14, 2010 - To the end of misery.

I haven't had the courage to think about this further, let alone write it out because I am afraid I would cry. Tears have flown. If it is the end, then it is the end. And for the past one month in which Kurogi had spent time with us. I am sure, he had been happy. The same goes for us.

I miss him terribly. So much that it hurts sometimes. To realize that, he will no longer be able to sit on the same cab with us. Sleep on the same bed with us. Eat with us. Play with us. And come to work with me. There will no longer be that tinkling of his collar bell, hearing him run across the road to me. Watching him snuggle up to us because it is cold. Rub his cheek against our legs because he is hungry. There will no longer be a Kurogi, who irritates us most of the time. Bite on your ankles when you are cooking. And causing us so much trouble so often that we got used to it. But at least, they were achievements earned, deshou?

EST 6:00 PM

Raining. Cold weather. Kurogi sleeps under the drain. Refuses to surface.

EST 8:00 PM

Raining. Cold weather. Kurogi reacts to the light I shone into the drain. But still refuses to surface.

EST 10:00 PM

Cold weather. Kurogi wakes up and surfaces from under the drain when I shone the torchlight again. With bird calls.

EST 11:30 PM

Journey home on a cab. Kurogi breathes heavily. Makes hacking sounds. Unable to lie down or stand straight. Wobbly feet.

EST 12:00 AM

Back home. Unable to smell the food through congestion even after wiping away the watery mucus from his nose and mouth. Refuses to eat or drink. Hides under the bed.

EST 12:15 AM

Appears in front of the bedroom's door. Wants to urine but keeps falling down due to wobbly feet.

EST 12:17 AM

Lies under the computer's chair. No longer making heavy breathing sounds. Worried, I touched him for the last time he was alive. For a second, he was breathing. Then continued with jerking motions and struggles to gasp for air. With a last motion, he died. In my hands.

Eyes opened, teeth barring. I am sure that he was in misery down to his last breath. Rigor mortis took place so fast.. Without oxygen and flowing blood, his feet were soon unable to bend.

"For tears won't bring him back to where he was,

For tears won't bring me back what had been lost,
But for certain, my tears did bring me,
Regretful and back to reality."

You told me not to blame myself. But, ask yourself. Who is to blame besides me? It is a good chance to bash myself up because for so long, I have never done my part as a responsible owner. If I had tried, I had a million ways to bring him to the vet. Why didn't I? Why didn't I? I was so heartless as to watch him die. Not even trying to save him though knowing the fact that he was so sick.

It is the second time I have came known that something died in my hands. But I have never expected to see it so real. The last motion. The last cry. The last breath. I will never forget about it for the rest of my life. And I promise Kurogi, that if I am not responsible enough. I will never adopt one of his kind. Ever. Be it any animal. Any pet. Any living thing.

Because, with cute Kurogi comes great responsibility.

Now all I am left with.. Is his collar and the scratch marks which I hope will never disappear, to remind me.

Good night, Nevermore

2010-11-13T13:02:00.002+08:00

I know things have been harder for you this week.. So, let us make the next week a better one, okay? C:

I am very sorry for always saying hurtful stuff to you whenever we are in a pinch, whether you are to blame or not. But I just realized that, in a friendship and/or a relationship.. If one person does not want to make things work, then it solely relies on the other party's determination.. Though it does not work out every single time. I am sure that I will try harder next time. I will protect your heart, by any means. Because, you will protect mine too, ne~? True man, ahaha~

"Walk my shoes, just to see, what it feels like to be me.

And I'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what I can be like too.

Feeling your pain, you feel mine, go inside each other's mind.

Just to see what we can find."

Day 6, Saturday, November 13, 2010 - A death cycle?

Kurogi now is:

- Eating way too little and losing a lot of weight.

- No longer running around or play-biting.

- Sleeping and not moving up to 20 hours a day and constantly crouches during sleep.

- Hates it when I carry him, as if he is in a lot of pain.

- Breathing heavily, often meowing when he is lying on his side.

- No longer coming forward to my bird calls but can still tag around me at home.

For a day or two, it seemed like everything was becoming better. It did get better and then it got worse again.. Is this a death cycle? I can't seem to take my eyes off him anymore. Every now and then, I will check his whereabouts, check his breathing, clean his eyes and make sure he is still alive.

And now I am having second thoughts if adopting him was the right thing to do, because all the other stray cats look healthier than him even if they don't have an owner.. I don't want to have any slightest regret, but if Kurogi does not get well.. I can never forgive myself for taking yet another life...

Vet. Vet. Vet. F~~uck~~ vets. I know I shouldn't have even adopted Kurogi if I don't have the money to bring him for jabs, cures and stuff. Why does it seem all so clear to me now? And now bashing myself, is definitely the most stupidest thing I can do...

Sipping sizzurp in my ride, like three 6

2010-11-12T16:43:00.006+08:00

Use me as you will, pull my strings at your thrill.

If you are still not pleased, how about hurting me like this?

Abuse me as accord to plan, push me as hard as you can.

If you are still not satisfied, how about killing me with a rope so tight?

Bye.

Now I'm feelin' so fly like a G6

2010-11-10T14:07:00.008+08:00

Now I'm feelin' so fly like a G6 cux I get to see you -- like the first person in the morning when I wake up! C:

Day 3, Wednesday, November 10, 2010 - For better or worse?

Last night, back at my own home. Kuro ate until he's full, like finally! C: And he slept beside me all throughout the night. When I woke up in the morning, the first thing I saw was his sleeping face. Sure, it was covered with eye dirt but who cares? He's cute sleeping like that..

Things he did that made me happy today:

- Ate twice, first at home, the second at work.

- Jumped on the cab to work. Active.

- Came forward to my bird calls.

- Meowing for food and attention.

- Able to open his infected left eye for some time.

I guess, I hope he'll get better. Then he'll start biting ankles again! C: Moonfang, Moonfang, get better, will you? Luna can't fight properly without riding on you! ♥

♫FM feat. The Cataracs Dev - Like A G6♫

スヴェン。

Kuro San - Day 1 & 2

2010-11-09T14:48:00.011+08:00

I don't have anything else to write about suddenly.. All in my mind is our kitty, Kurogi(mi). Male or female. It no longer matters, I guess. But I'm sure, it'll always be Kuro San. I'll blog about it more often until it gets better...or dead.. I hope you won't mind.

Day 1, Monday, November 08, 2010 - Too ill to bite.
Yesterday, it happens to be our friend, Matthew's birthday. The entire day, Kuro just spent its day asleep throughout the heavy rain. It didn't eat much and it didn't drink at all. Its food bowl was always cleared by the older cats. Those stray and surprisingly healthy cats. I don't know what was wrong or more of, I didn't bothered if there was anything wrong.. Its left eye was badly infected once, but it got better. I took that fact for granted and now the infection came back. It could no longer open its left eye, or rarely, very little of its tiny slit. Then, until the time when I was knocking off work, Kuro didn't come forward to my bird calls. It appeared after awhile, tired and dragging its body to the drain. Then I realized, it was asleep at the stairwell beside the café. At the birthday event, Kuro didn't bite, it just slept in the bag.. Occasionally opening its eyes to check out its surroundings. Then falling back asleep. Like nothing else mattered, besides sleeping. It wouldn't even budge or wake up when you took cream from the cake for it. Back at your house, Kuro was still asleep, waking up to shift its position to the bed once. Then I shifted him onto the table. It slept all night till morning.. It didn't move. At almost 7 AM in the morning, I saw Kuro's sleeping face on the table beside your bed. Covered with eye dirt and hardened tears...at the very least, it was still breathing...

Day 2, Tuesday, November 09, 2010 - Too bothered to eat.
Today, Kuro slept on the cab to work. It didn't move as much as it did when it was healthier. It no longer struggles to get out of the bag and explore the cab. It just slept throughout the 30 minutes journey from your house to your camp and then to my workplace. During the DotA matches I played, Kuro just kept in its prowling position and slept. When I finally realized, there was something so wrong with it. I made the move to check the net for clues to knowing what's wrong and how should I fix this misery I caused. Nothing helps. Everything is about going to the f~~ucking~~ vet. And if I don't have money, does that mean Kuro is going to die? I poured solid food and as well as mashed ones in two different bowls. I let Kuro sniff both bowls. It had more sniffing reactions to the mashed ones.. For a second, I thought it was gonna eat.. It didn't. It turned away and jumped off the counter top. It didn't even land properly, it fell flat...on the ground. I cried. I literally cried. I took Kuro into my arms. And an older cat came, smelling the food from far.. It started eating the food I took down from the counter top. I cried even harder and Kuro just stared at the older feline. Like...it didn't care. Unlike what it'd do normally, chase it off and honor all the food for itself. I started writing this after that. I placed Kuro on the chair beside me, and within seconds......it fell asleep again. I'm still crying. Even the Maple Uncle feels that something's definitely wrong with Kuro. Demo, doushi o? What can I do...?

I really need you now.

B.

2010-11-07T15:20:00.002+08:00

I don't know how much of a fool, I look when I'm drunk to you.. :C

So often, when I wake up, I have a hard time recollecting what I've said or done. I guess I'll either stop drinking so much or train up my liver, so I'll be as good as you. Heehee. :3 You're practically my idol in everything. ♥

Actually, I don't have much to say. I just didn't want to view the first post on your blog as Wenbin-raging-himself-upside-down so, yeah.. I'm trying to find something to post. I hope you won't rage yourself so often. :p

And if I seem naively nice to other people, I'm so sorry about it. Sometimes, I just can't help it. Yes, I know I'm not exactly super-nice or what but I can't be exactly mean either. I suck at turning people down and refusing their requests. But all I know is, if there's anything you want me to do, I'll do it. Dakara, please trust me that I have my own methods in doing it. And my everything belongs to only you.

You're asleeeeeeeeep right now, and I don't have anything else to do.. Don't be pressured, it's not your fault at all. C: Jeffrey and Yuan just left the cafe. And I'm as bored as hell. I'm trying to download DJ MAX so I can entertain myself while working.. Life's been hard for you. I can see that. All the crap you're going through, I know you're as tired as f~~uck~~. I know you want to fall sick all the time with your remarkably sexy and healthy body. But if you fall sick, I don't know just how to take care of you.. I know you can take care of yourself as well as how you take care of me. But that's just gonna make me look so useless, deshou? Are~? I'm not as reliable as I claim to be when I'm down with a crisis actually...ahaha~

I miss you a lot. At least things are better now.. We laugh more. And I know a lot more about you. Heehee. C;

I'll just stop here and find something else to do. And if I have something to say, I'll come back again. I guess, this is the only place where I can confess -- to you and the world.

Sore jaa~

スヴェン。

I'm sorry

2010-11-05T04:36:00.002+08:00

its fine when u left for work..

its my bad for being aslp.. all the time.

and when ur sleeping.. i went playing.

and turns out to be when ur working, i am sleeping.

its my fault.

i cant even keep a simple promise.

i remember saying that i will post my blog.

i just dunno what to post..

now i got sth to post.

Yeah posting about all my bads.

How fail am i.

How much i suck.

You came finding me, all we did is like a cycle.

Nothing special.

I fall asleep while watching anime with you.

Baby, i'm really feeling bad.

I did those to my eyes because i dun wanna book in , also , i wanna see you more.

You're having off on friday.

I dun wan you to get bored, lonely.

Now that i can accompany you these 3 days.

& this kinda things happen between us.

Are u really tired of the words?

Whats with tired of the words?

What are you planning to do..

I'm confused again.

Whats with no future?

What are u gonna do again..?

Apologies

2010-11-02T10:17:00.003+08:00

If there was a stupidest, silliest and blindest moment of my life.. It would have been then when I made that bullshit promise. I've made promises all my life and I've never lived to regret them except for that one. I'm such a fool. Who am I to even claim that I can protect you and your heart? I don't even know when I'm hurting you and obviously...I frigging hurt you all the time. What the f~~uck~~ is wrong with me anyway? Why am I always saying 'yes' to everything, to everyone? Why am I always so frigging dumb?

I'm just so f~~ucked~~ and I'm so f~~ucking~~ sorry. I made that promise because at that time, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with you. But all I know is now, if there's anything that will allow me to take back that bullshit promise. I'll do f~~ucking~~ anything. I'll even hurt someone, that's not you. Now, all I want is you. To be with you, to live with you, to learn with you. And to love you. That's all I want. AND I SWEAR THAT'S ALL I WANT. By swearing, I don't mean f~~ucking~~ swearing. I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry, Wenbin. I'm so f~~ucking~~ sorry that I've never been sorrier my entire life.

B.

Good night, first night

2010-11-01T23:15:00.002+08:00

Everybody is frigging falling sick at my workplace. I don't want to catch their disease! =runs=

Tonight is the first night that I shall spend awake and working since you're serving duty at the who-cares-what-name-it-is camp. Heehee. I miss you alot.

B.

I'm gonna miss you

2010-11-01T07:21:00.008+08:00

Oh, hell.. Today, you're going back to the PAD-PDA-I-seriously-don't-care-what-name-it-is camp.. Not the usual Gloucester camp where ~~I can see you whenever I want to~~.. :'C

Oh well.. At least you came over to my workplace tonight! We had fun together! And we talked a lot too. Heehee.

Okay, two solid days without you starting from now.. That's like, um...48 hours to go! Sure, I can do it. I'm Bella, you know.. I can take care of myself like how you'd always take care of me! I will eat, hopefully. Sleep, definitely. And I'll certainly do my best in arriving punctually for work. It's like...training myself to not to be late when I get the chance to meet you..!

I don't even know what else am I gonna say.. I just miss you like, oh my.. Heehee.

- Okay, you just texted me back saying that you'll be reaching your camp soon. I guess that's a relief. I wouldn't really like the idea of imagining you being lost in your sexy no. 4 wandering around in a like...foresty area, thirsty and starving.. OKAY, I'm seriously thinking waaaaaaaaaay too much. HEEHEE.

@ October 30, 2010

Something happened between Lollipop and Aaron, but we're glad that it's all fine now. I'm sure that certain things that happen will only make their relationship tougher than before.

Knocked off at 10:30 PM on time, thanks to Jeffrey. Headed back to Woodlands with Nevermore. Bought 7 bottles of alcohol at the nearest 7-11 in hopes to try to reconcile something.. But they were already okay beforehand! DAMN! (not like we wanted to see the both of them crying anyway.. Ahaha~) And as usual, I'm so darn fail with alcohol. Less than 3 bottles and I'm like seeing so many fingers. =_= Lollipop was also on the ditsy spell and sure...she's a hella typical drinker. The "I'm not drunk." kind -- cuuuute. Aaron was hardly perturbed by the alcohol besides puking but I guess that's cool, being conscious is more like him anyway! Dear Nevermore has an iron liver, but well...that only stays unaffected until the hangover that comes next day! Ahaha~ Oh well.. At least it was damn fun! And the sweet silly couple came to slack with us the next day as well..! Funnnn.

Okay, I'm done with my post. Basically, I just have nothing else to do besides missing you, Nevermore. And I really miss you. Okay...bai-bai.

P.S You're a dork, literally. Heehee.
P.P.S You look really great in your no. 4, almost edible. But I can't eat you.
P.P.P.S Your new haircut certainly looks neat. Sasuga, you're always so manly.
P.P.P.P.S Let's do something together again on Wednesday!

B.

2010-10-30T14:42:00.003+08:00

Baby i'm contented right now because i have you.
I got all your trust and all ur faith.

One day, your leaving the sentinal.
I will take care of you, like how much you take care of me all this while.
No, i mean. Even if u don't provide those financial assistance to me.
I will provide urs.
Other than cash, i gave you whatever i could.
Those could never be replaced by cash, or swap with other girls.
Theres only you in my heart. And i know this isn't the first time i'm saying. Hehe

Anyway..
I hate being in debts.
Those fuck debts i owe is just punishment for being too naive.
Once i clear it.
Life is gonna be easier.
My sis will help me with life.
I know she will, she won't bear to see me in pain.
I'm trying to clear my debts as much as i could, as fast as i can.
Actually i did calculations. Every month i spend about 400 bucks. Thats quite less for me. I can actually save about 200 bucks every month.
And i'm actually clearing my debts over 200 bucks each month.

I had plans in my future.
I will make my mark.
I will work hard.
I will not let you down.
I promised to take care of you.
Believe in me :>

Baby i love you.

TODAY!

2010-10-29T22:41:00.002+08:00

Well.
Today is the last day of my camp.
Then i got released at about 3pm.
Called b.
Pick up.
Ask her come meet me now.
Well..
Waited 1 hour 40mins outside camp.

Baby.
Actually im quite angry in the start.
But then.
Hehe. I know u dislike cold war.
You had ur reasons for being late & i put on a black face once you reach.
So.
Baby im sorry okay.
:>
But can u tell me next time. So that i wont be standing there like my duty LOL.
Baby baby i love you.
tomorrow we shall have our 1st time taking MRT together.
:D im excited... :x LOL

Slightly...disappointed?

2010-10-28T14:22:00.005+08:00

I guess for once, I know how it feels like to let you wait for me all the time.
I'm sorry.
I don't blame you, or more to say.. I can't blame you at all because you held on to your consciousness all night to play DotA with me. C:
Sweet dreams to you, you'll probably be sleeping in camp.
Good night, my sexy love!

B.

RE: Thank you for everything

2010-10-28T02:12:00.004+08:00

Looking at your post.
I felt that i should have done a better post. Sorry.
Looking at our past.
I felt that things will get better, sooner or later. Dun worry :>
Looking at how much i done like what you said in ur post.
I felt that its all worth it.
Looking at all the post u wrote for me, about me.
I realize that i got no more worries, troubles.

Baby, Its only 2 months.
I know its short.
But do you know that i feel like i've known you for a very long time.
We've so so much in common.
The way we speak.
The way we thinks.
We've done so much things together.
Those memories will be kept between my heart and mind.
I will not forget anything we've done together.

I remember the times, you're asking me to give up.
Whereby most of the time i know i did nothing wrong.
But still i keep apologizing to you.
The reason is simple, i can't afford to lose you.
Days without you, are simply torturing.
I've said this before.
Even if you were to tell me to give up again.
I will not. I will never give up one you.

Hey baby, im really happy about the times when u're with me.
whether home or outside.
I enjoyed every moment.
Just a simple lunch at the coffeeshop with you can also brighten my day.

You are the one, that makes me smile so much, so natural.
You are the one, that teach me how to treasure a person, a girl-friend.
You are the one, always trying to make me become a good guy (That doesnt bm and scolds around when dota-ing)
You are the one, who bought cigs for me when i short of cash. ( without me telling )
You are the one, that i will give in.( no matter whose fault is it)
You are the ONLY one, that i love.
Rest assure.

Baby, breaking my record isn't big deal.
Breaking your record is.
Lets do it. (:
Have faith in me.
I ♥ you ( No more shortcuts)

Thank you for everything

2010-10-28T01:24:00.004+08:00

Hi baby baby. Today's our virgin day! It's how I name the first day since our second month together. Oh well, I'm a little better than you. I made my first draft in my mind while listening to the song on your iTouch. I'm like, 'er', 'uh', 'ummm...', you know me. :p

First off, thank you for everything. Yeah I know it's on the title! Heehee. But it doesn't matter right now, deshou?

I've had many first-timers with you. And surprisingly awkward, I enjoyed it. Thank you for trying to break through the embarrassment I keep shielding myself with. Really, thank you. You made me realize that, most of the material stuffs don't matter at all as long as we're together. Be it for now, I'll cherish this moment and etch every other moments with have -- in my memoir forever.

Maybe, I just suck at expressing sometimes. I get mad, unreasonable, childish and oftenly, I react bad to getting teased by you. I shy away. I push you away. I tickle you. I hit you. All for basically no reasons. And sometimes it's just because it's fun and you look cute trying to get me to stop. Your smile has never once failed to brighten up my day.

And then I start to think about the past, where I've never bothered about your existence. You were just a friend's friend of mine. Then you became san--, my net idol. I started to notice you more. I started to join in your DotA games. Know your name. Know your background. Know your past. Then I know your friends. Everything links up to something. Coincidentally, one day, we were at the same Kbox. And you were singing. That's something new, I never knew that about you. If the legends say, 'love at first sight', I probably knew what was falling in love with your amazing voice. We started texting. Doing little things on the net together. MSN, Webcam and DotA. I knew you more, bit by bit. That was when I knew, you were just darn funny and amazingly interesting. Though that one period was when I was at the most depressed point of my life. But hey, you were there to laugh with me. Not laugh at me.

I knew you liked me at a certain time. But I wasn't so sure if it was just crush or simple infatuation. So I started to ask you to give up. You were so determined that I was astonished for the first time in my life -- at one man's determination and perseverance. C:

Soon, the rumors came. The hating started. I was new to this feeling. Hesitation. It's not just hesitating between choosing two brands of chocolate or what to eat for dinner. I had to make a choice between you or work. Without you, I can still work. But somewhere in there, remember Lu-chan? She said you were one special thing, that I might never want to live without. And that's what's motivating me to hold on till now. You've never once stopped to give me security, continuously letting me know that you're still there and holding on. Not letting go. Thank you. I'll never let go of you too unless you ask me to. I promise.

Everything we've gone through played a part. Some conditions. Compromises and promises. Give and take. What else. But this love just never gets tiring. I'm still working hard on it. I'll make myself your girlfriend officially one day. I know it hurts, the way it sounds. I'm not okay with letting you go through all these, you don't deserve what they say at all, you're far too nice. Far too good. But I just can't and I'll never want to give up on that one man that made me...a better person.

I love you.

For the one man I've once loved and love lost forever, cheers.
For the one man I've found, love and will cherish.. Till the day your heart is no longer mine. I'll leave my everything with you. You name it, my mind, my heart and my soul.

P.S You looked really sexy back there in the shower.
P.P.S I dropped your iTouch once, and I even took off its cover. Like oooooops?
P.P.P.S I love you.
P.P.P.P.S You're mean for reading this from the autosaved draft. :C MEANIE.

B.

Its our 2nd month :>

2010-10-27T19:31:00.004+08:00

Baby you are asleep now :> Hehe.
Thanks for today. I appreciate everything u did for me today.
Really. Things u've never done in the past..
Haha.

Well.Lets save alot alot money okay? :D
I had no idea wad to post.
Words cant describe my love for you.
The previous post u posted is damn sweet .
Hah.
I guess only we know wad it means.
Its our own world :>
I keep reading the post over and over again.
That brightens my day.
Hehehehe.

I love you Bella. I hope we are happier than now in the future.Though im alrdy contented in our present now :>

Happy 2nd monthsary
I love you!

Baby baby

2010-10-27T09:50:00.004+08:00

I know I haven't been good enough, but rest assured. I will do better.
.
.
.

.
.
.
I'll get to see you later! Like in 1~3 hours' time! C:

Let's go meet my brother. Get my cellphone line done so I can start texting you like 14/7 every week. Then we can go home and watch American Pie and fall asleep together...(most probably I'll be the only one sleeping...) I know you'll be waking up to play DotA. But that's okay! Definitely okay! I love you and I like DotA. Putting you and DotA together makes every game the best game. ♥

P.S You're so MOE, I think I might just become an addict. Like...
I'm actually a hardcore otaku who loves Wenbin more than having three meals in a day. And I only read books related to DotA. Also, I only visit gaming cafés. Of course, I also collect san-- figurines. I play DotA which features san-- and it turns me on so much...that I'll wear the guards polo tee and jump in joy.

I know you love me. C:
I'm gonna refill the fridge okay? Then give you a call. Sore jaa!

B.

2010-10-22T16:45:00.003+08:00

I know that I may be a ~~little~~ too selfish at times.
So it's okay to go ahead and scold me for a ~~little~~ bit. :p

B.

2010-10-22T06:53:00.003+08:00

Today, i book out at 2.45pm. Cause b say she will reach my camp at 2.45 .
Soso, I wait wait wait.
Wait for abt 30mins outside camp.. I got bored and i drew things on my bag.
While drawing , i realise that im actually smiling to myself.
Hehe.
Draw for about 10mins.
Then then. I realise its almost 3.45, which is 1 hour of waiting for her.
So i begin to pluck the tree bark's skin.
LOL.
I got really bored and i kicked the dry leaves on the ground.
YAY!
B arrived.
I'm not angry with you actually.
I'm trying to ACT angry. Hahaha.
But who cares. Hehe.
I dunno why, I cant bear to be angry with you.
I just love you so much, watching u sleep can also make me smile.
Hehe.

Hmms.
Reached home, bathed and went down to make another key for B.
This is the first time i made a key for my girlfriend.
Because B always complain i keep forgetting to bring my keys home :<
But be honored pls!
:B

Till night time..
B is angry with me.
Sorry..
But okay, after we talk things out.
Actually we just love each other too much.
So we expect everything to be perfect.
Ahhh.
I just feel bad.
I trust everything u say okay.
I wont even think of those silly thoughts again.
I promise u, i promise myself.
I trust u, & i trust myself to be able to do it.

About midnight, We watch new anime.
Quite cute one.
LOL. B dun skip the episodes hor.
I wan watch tgt with you :>
If not nobody will smile tgt with me.. I will find it meaningless.
Well , I mean i only wan u watch with me.
No other girls can take over ur place in my heart, in the real world.
:>

B's tired. Lying on bed.
I went cook something to eat.
& B didn't wake up!
I mean, she's just tired.
Well.. I can understand. Her job is just too tiring.. 12 hours..
As her boyfriend. I can only wish that she can take care of her body if i'm not around..
So b, like what i said in the morning. Today i will give u whole day to rest.
SLEEP AS MUCH AS U CAN. I WONT BLAME U :D
I WONT GET ANGRY! :D
I give u solo the bed kkkk.
Then i can dotaaaa :x

Dota with di edward and oevin for 2 games.
As usual. Playing with them i cant have high hopes of winning.
Both lost.
BUT!
As usual. I'm doing 1 man show. Having over kills and few deaths.
Hehe.

Then then. Meet up and slack at 166 for awhile.
Eat and drink.
I dint spend a single cent.

Came back home at 6+..
Gonna dota with them again.. Cya.

Aishiteru B :D

2010-10-21T23:53:00.003+08:00

I am sorry, my love.

I'm always over sensitive.
I trust you, u know that.
But i know im behaving like a kid, having such thoughts.
For that, i apologize to you.
Sorry b..

2010-10-21T22:59:00.002+08:00

Can you never ever lose your sense of humor? :p
Because, I love it.

B.

2010-10-20T01:52:00.003+08:00

I made a wish today. Ukr.
Though I may make silly wishes all the time, I do hope that this particular one really does come true...

P.S I like the way you call me baby!
And I miss you badly. I hope Thursday comes soon!

B.

2010-10-19T02:32:00.004+08:00

B, I wanna thank you.
I thank you for being there whenever i need you.
I thank you for your understanding.
I thank you for care , concern and continuous trust.
I thank you for so much of efforts to maintain our relationship.
I thank you for spending so much time to accompany me.
I thank you for those beautiful yet cute memories we got.

I love you! & i promise that my feelings and attitude towards you will only gets better and better. :>

RE:
I thank you for giving me one of the best thrills in life, risking your ass. (y)
I thank you for doing everything willingly everytime, just for bubble teas.
I thank you for trying so hard to make me smile, always.
I thank you for always saying what's on your mind, in your heart. I hate guessing.
I thank you for being appreciative, every time, without fail.
I thank you for teaching me UNO and then admit defeat to a beginner like me.
I thank you for understanding what it means to be under pressure. CPL > RSM.
I thank you for knowing that even though I'm not a romanticist, you still put up with my most unromantic nonsense.
I thank you for though taken for granted, you still smile.
I thank you for putting on the best and silliest expressions. Priceless.
I thank you for training dumbells to 40 even when I purposely miscount every time.
I thank you for thanking me and now I thank you for loving me.
Well, basically. I think we're nuts. We laugh too much which is actually a pretty good thing. And we fight too little which I think, is really weeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrddddddddd. Not that I like to fight.
Well, last but not least..
I thank you for making the effort to do something even though you forgot about your keys TWICE.

You don't have to change anything. I'll always ♥ you. HEY, I seriously like you the way you are. A little too paranoid but seriously, I don't care! :D

B.

2010-10-18T23:43:00.004+08:00

Hi. I know I shouldn't be here but seriously, who cares? HEHEHEHE. It's okay, whatever you do. You'll be forgiven. 我从不记隔夜愁。 Especially, with you. :>

I didn't know Kuromi irritates you so much at times. Maybe, I'm just plain selfish. But, I guess it's my responsibility to keep a kitty. Although sometimes, I'll just leave her to you. But I'll never realize that I'm only bringing you nothing...but more trouble. I, as her owner. Apologize to you, for always making you get scoldings.

You should've just woke me up instead of pulling on a black face. You know I'll never blame you for anything. I've been learning to put up with everything that's because of you. You give me strength and more than enough courage. But it's still my own goddamn fault that I've never ever been courageous enough to say...Hi Wenbin, I love you. :3

B.

2010-10-18T04:00:00.003+08:00

Today. It was suppose to be a great day. Because you had 24 hours to acc me.
But im kinda, having bad mood now.
Frankly, I dunno wad will u think of it if i post this.
Im starting to dislike things around you.
I dislike it when kuromi jumps around disturbing us.
Scratching u and hurts u. Ya i know , its just a cat. Did u realise that u bring the cat everywhere we go? I wan to go out with you.
Seriously..
But fine. Since u like her so much, Im fine with it too.
Now that shes hiding under my sis's bed. Idk wad to do, Im going to get scolding again. For no reason.
I closed the door. My mum opens it. I brought her out, She opens the door and let the cat in again.
My sis dislike that cat.

Well then. Forget about the cat stuff.
I realise.
U only got my msg, I cant believe that the whole day im the only 1 msging you.
I can see that u deleted all the previous msg when u came to meet me..
You know i dislike.
But wad will i think?
Why do u have to do that if u aren't hiding anything from me.
hug hug. HUG? what hug?
I hate cursing around.
I hate swearing around.
I'm fuckin trying to control myself now.
If i am alone now i would curse till my lungs burst..

Well.. I'm alone, Ya i am alone, doing nothing, U came here to sleep, aren't you?
I dislike this. What makes u think that i would wake u up after 2 hours of rest?
Do i bear to do that?

2010-10-17T13:12:00.003+08:00

WOAH! LET ME SAY!
THESE 2 DAYS IN CAMP WERE THE BEST DAYS IN CAMP EVER!
CAUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. :D:D:D SHES HERE FOR ME.
I LOVE YOU B!

wahahaha.
I love the spending the time with u!
I just love you more and more.
Just a moment u left me, i would feel uneasy.
So hope that u'are by my side .
:D

2010-10-10T02:24:00.002+08:00

There are always problems and troubles in each and everyone of us.
& . I know u're stress.
I can see the way u behave.
You're trying to be happy , like before.
I looked into your eyes, you're troubled.
I know u have something that u feel like telling me.
But i will not ask you. I will not add on ur burden. If you feel like telling me, remember that i will always be ur listening ear, your human sandbag.
& no matter what, i trust you. I will not leave you..
Iloveyou.

2010-10-09T16:43:00.002+08:00

Friday
Today i book out at 1.30
Then b take cab come find fetch me and go home tgt.
Hehe. As usual. Watch kanon together. Haha.
Makoto GONE :<
That ugu ugu girl :x

Well then.
Soon after not long. She fall aslp..
Aslp..
And i couldnt sleep cux i slept in the morning.
So i went and play DOTA!
play play play. 一转眼 almost 10pm. I tried waking B up BUT! she's sleeping like a 豚. true 豚.
I asked her. Hey wad u wanna eat. I dabao for u. Mac / kfc / pizza 随便你。
she uh.. nod nod. -.- shake shake..
So idc. I went down to our favourite coffeeshop and dabao her USUAL orders.
Hokkien mee and milo ice. :D

Then reach home i try waking her up. AGAIN!
finally shes awake.
1st thing she do, Go mozilla firefox and on kanon @@.
I expected it anyway. Haha.
Then she eat infront of the comp as i alrdy finished my food.

After that.
We chatting while watching
And kuromi is like jumping around.

Then then.
About 11pm+. I go play dota. B sit beside me and watch for the first 2 games.
We had fun toking cock LOL. True NONSENSE !

Soon enuff. About 2am.. That 豚 fall asleep again.. -.-
Idk wad shes make of.
I tried waking her up again..
Mission fail.. I fall asleep with her LOL.

Till morning . I realise im alone . B IS MISSING. Oh she's bathing.
Hah. I tot she left w/o me knowing :x
My eyes closed again.

When i opened my eyes again.
I saw her taking her stuff.
Oh no! She's leaving :<
"B i send u downstairs okay"
"No u continue sleep la, you so tired"
"orh okay, bye B"
"bye"

Sleep sleep sleep till about 3pm. Okay its 3.33pm. Cux i woke up and find my phone to sms her. She say its 3:33!
LOL.
Then then.
I go dotaaaa :D
Until now :x

I love the time being with you, (:

Well.

2010-10-06T04:52:00.003+08:00

I know what am i.
Maybe i dun stands a important position in ur heart.
Maybe im just wadever u said i was.
Im still not giving up.
You stand a important position in my heart
You're everything to me.

I always know that asking those questions will lead to unhappiness.
It always spoiling our r/s . Well, maybe its not even a r/s . like u said.
Nobody knows about it.
Nobody knows that i existed.
Therefore i'm just a nobody.

You're always asking me to give up
It's alrdy the 3rd time.
I'm not giving up. even if u ask for the another 3 times. 30times or 300 times.
No matter what. I may be doing everything u asked me to do.
But i am not giving up if u asked me to..

Whenever u left me for work.
I felt so lonely again.
You're always there to accompany me when i book out.

Hey b.
I dunno how to describe it.
You are special , to me.
I really want to take care of you in future.
Yeah i have be disappointing you.
I'm a joke to you as time goes by.
There's so little conversation left between me and you.
I couldn't bear to scold u. Even if you did sth that i think is wrong.
Thats why im forever being the one saying sorry.
I'm always afraid that if our fight got worsten , you will leave me.

Sometimes idk why shld i be so persistent..
I felt that its worth it.

iloveyou..

What should i do?

2010-10-02T01:08:00.003+08:00

Everytime i reach home. Whenever i sees you.
You will never ask me if im hungry.
First sentence from you is always about money.
seriously wtf am i?

You got fuckin 5 digit no. in ur fuckin bank account and u wanna ask me for money.
Hey, since 15 years old u never gave me a single cent before ok.
Its my sis that help me go through those fucked years.
Your always scolding me.
You dont care what i doing.
In ur eyes you only sees me as a game addict.
Yea im game addict. But thats past alrdy?
Ya im always making ur electricity bills rise up.
When i din even come home often?
What are you whining? seriously.

Im trying to be filial to you , you know?
Im doing my part as much as i could.
Your always seeing me as if im good for nothing.
People says that family is most important , they will help you.
I agree , to certain extend.

Trust me.
If 1 day im being accuse for doing some unlawful stuff.
She will not even bait me out.
She will even bother to ask me what happened.
She believe in her friends more than me and my sister.
What her friends told her , she believes.
Whenever we tried to talk to her.
We will always end up quarreling.

Just 5mins ago.
Your asking me for money again.
Hey u think im fuckin rich?
1month got 1k+
do u know how much financial problems i got?

NO , u dunno.
You just think that i MUST give u monthly allowance.
If not ur giving up this room and rent it to others.
You dun even bother where should i sleep.
A god damn 10+ years old sofa?

Hey i dun wan that ok.
If this is my home.
You should give me something i deserve?

I bought my own stuff
Think of it.
When is the last time you've bought something for me?
Except birthday cake?
You arent poor.
We know that.
If 1 day im having deep deep trouble
Will u take out those money and save me?
I bet no.

What u care is the ownership of this house.
Isn't thats the elders' problems.
Not me and my sis.
Why you love to vent ur anger on us whenever u said that dad force u to pay the money.

I said, 10th. When my pay day comes. I will return u.
You are rushing me for the money whenever u sees me?
Wtf?

Look about it.
Which furniture in our home changed over the 10 years?
They are all old.
OLD! and u din bother. Wad to do? Sis have to fork out own money.
To change the quality of this house.
You never even bother saying thanks.
Did we really owe u something in our previous life?

What now?
Now its 1.25am
Im missing somebody.
Talking about this somebody..
Shes still online, haha.

Should i go sleep?
Or continue waiting like i always do?
Well. let fate decide.

2010-10-01T01:57:00.002+08:00

Whenever u are not with me, I feel so insecure. My brain will anyhow think again. It's not your fault I know. Why are there so many guys always sticking around you..? And they all look as if they are close to you. I don't wanna think until so ridiculous . Because of my fuck up mindset. I'm just like torturing myself .. You know I get jealous easily. Very sensitive .. I hate this . But well, I believe in you and I trust that u only love me.. U know what. Once u went to somebody's house and overnight. I'm afraid that u would go again without me knowing. I'm so afraid that u would. What to do? I'm just so narrow minded and I'm fckin selfish . I dun have a big heart. My small small heart, is given to you alrdy. I try to change. Days with you. Even just by looking at u while u sleep, I'm contented . I love the way u hug me, I can feel u. That isn't fake. Actually.. I dunno what I'm good at. Your always saying that I'm praising u as if ur so perfect. Well. Sometimes u made me feel that I'm more than the word " perfect " you're always sounding that whatever I did looks cute. In ur eyes, my stupid reactions can make u smile. My stupid jokes can make u laugh. Even my voice, you sound as if I can try interview be singer. Lol. How? U praise me alot. I bet u don't realize that. Imma tell u what. Even if u did nothing, you're still cute in my eyes . Even if u dun try to sa jiao at eme. I will do whatever u asked me to. Your wish is my command . I wanna Know more about you. That's all.

B , this post is for you

2010-09-27T01:09:00.002+08:00

Since i couldnt post wadever i like in facebook.
I removed the link to my blog in my profile.
Now, only people who has the heart to read my blog will know this.

I will support wadever choices u made.
Because i know i cannot be selfish.
I would rather im the one getting hurt , rather than seeing u suffer.
I've seen u cry. I promised myself i will not let ur tears roll down ur cheeks again.

Sometimes i would just ask myself.
Is this worth it?
The answer is yes. & i will not regret doing anything just for you.
People will just say im foolish , stupid . I dun care. I only cares about wad i mean to you.

You're so special. So special to me.
Whenever i sees you, i just feel like hugging u in my arms as tight as im able to feel ur heartbeat.
Whenever i hear ur voice , it will always brighten up my day.
Whenever u 撒娇 , you will realise i'm always smiling.
Whenever u smile at me , my heart always got melted.

There are so many words i wanna tell you. But its only 1 meaning. I love you

2010-09-24T15:31:00.003+08:00

HI IM BACK FROM STAY IN.
i did nth in camp. i skip like 2 meals everyday.
due to laziness and im always in sleep mode. LOL

Well.
Special thanks to someone. that accompany me for these few days.
Okay well. Shes bored at work too. So we acc-ed each other. Lol.
hehe. thanks B :>

2010-09-20T02:45:00.002+08:00

Oh man.
Im feeling so guilty.
I almost made u lose ur job. sorry b.
damn fail live alarm .. zzz

iloveyou

Happy birthday to you , my love.

2010-09-01T00:24:00.001+08:00

Well. Today is her bday, or rather i should say its ytd.
And im not with her. :<
I had few ideas in my mind actually.
But i need some help. Hmms, i guess i would give her the present for next event.
Currently im in camp, using comp. Bella's not yet in SG, or rather idk she reached alrdy anot. cux my phone got no batt and i borrowed some fucker my charger. Gg.

Miss her like &*#(&*@(#@ kkkkk?
2 days din chat on phone with her alrdy. Feel so :<

kkkkk idk wad to update seriously. thats all :)

2010-08-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

Im feeling insecure. Do you have anything hidden? I dun like this kinda feeling.

Dun worry im fine.

2010-08-18T16:25:00.003+08:00

Well. Hi.
Maybe after written things out i can sleep in peace alrdy.
Ok well.

Recently i like someone alot.
Really alot.

I dun actually know how to express my feelings out of sudden.
Im just trying my best to say it out if not i couldn't get to sleep.

Everything is just so random.
random loves and random feelings.

Im confused with ur feelings.
Is it even there?
For once i could confirmed my feelings. Its really here.

I love you ,
You're sweet. You made me feel lost in ur sugarland.
You're cute. Everything you got are simply cute.
You're lovely. You got nothing that makes me hate of.

I dun wanna be just a friend. Or a special friend. It just look same to me..
How special can special friends be?
Can i hold ur hands while walking?
Can i hug you when ur cold?
Can i flirt with u officially?
Can i introduce u to my friends and say "hey she's my girlfriend"
Can i go dating with u without feeling shy or weird?
Can i kiss ur lips when its romantic?

I dislike being stealth. Yet i doesn't like being selfish.

Everyday & everynight. Everytime i fall asleep. I entered ur dreamland.
Searching for u. Everytime i found u, the dreams wouldn't last. I woke up again. Trying to find u in reality . Hope that you're fine. You're safe. You're alright.
I never had all this things before.
Recently it just keep happening to me.
I never tried waking out middle of the sleep searching for my phone and hoping to recieve ur sms.

You will never know my feelings. for you.
Its just more than words.

Hi frens.!

2010-07-27T03:45:00.001+08:00

Hi i need help with my blog. Hmms.
can someone help me change my song? :D
The reward will be..... U GET TO POST ON MY BLOG FOR ONCE!

Contact me soon :D

2010-07-25T04:42:00.016+08:00

Well guys. It has been a long time since i last post. :D
Now i shall update every event i had in this month.
1st is Ahboy bday. Follow by Sentosa trip. Lastly is Block 8 BBQ event. :D
Well. Had some fun at ahboy's bday. Though its quite boring there. playing cards and slacking around. And from the pics. U can see i got smashed by the cake. Actually quite badly. But i wipe the cake off my hair alrdy. hah.

After few days.
I went sentosa with Block 8 mates.
haha. HAd quite some fun and my muscle aches!
It has been quite a long time since i do some exercise.. :x
Yea i know im getting fat.
Nvm. :D

Then 1 week later..
We had block 8 BBQ.
Though i dunno whats that BBQ for.
I guess its for some gathering and lastly CONGRATS fooming into enlistment. Which is this friday or sat. Idk?
Haha.
Gonna play dota. Bye fans!

2010-07-13T05:37:00.002+08:00

HEHEHE. I just bought new lcd monitor . 198 bucks for 23inch. haha. i bargain 2 bucks :X

I bought it from fren actually.
Hmms.

Okay lets talk about today, Book out. Buy movie tix. Go home. Play 1 game.
Go cc meet hua and sing!!
Sing till 6pm i went for movie. then after movie i go cck find my fren for the monitor. lolol.

After that go home put monitor and go cc find my frens again.
bella they all finally arrived. hah.

Then sing sing sing till about 11pm. Idk?
Then then then we go lan slack and go rasa rasa makan jiu go home le. so long never go lan LOL.

Okay i know its quite boring day . Hah.
Boring cux i no girlfren! :x
like do everything also meaningless :x

I am tireeeeeeeeeed. Help!
I HATE NS LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Fever. Cough. Sore throat. Flu..

2010-07-09T20:59:00.002+08:00

I've been sleeping since ytd 9pm to 9am.. Then Afternoon i sleep another 5 hours again..
Im damn not feeling well..
But im afraid to take mc.. :/

I feel like going out now. I dun wanna waste time sleeping.. :/
hais.

2010-06-26T10:27:00.002+08:00

Hi peeps. its been quite some time since i last update.
Hmms.
I just came back from China. Alot of frens just found out nia.
Quite a number of them didnt know i went oversea :x

Shop alot and ate alot at china.
Hahaha.
Guess wad. I weight 75Kg. LOL.
Im surprised.
As i always tot that im 60+

Okay well. I got my own room back. But i needa give my mum 100$ every month :(
walao Nsf where got money one. So many bills to settle..

Recently also nothing much happen.
Eat sleep play eat sleep play eat sleep play.. Knnbcb fml.

I think i needa gf for real. Not desperate, just finding a accompany :x
Been single for 1 year plus. so bored. when i see my friends 1 by 1 getting attached.
llllloooooooooool...

Anyway my good friend , Aaron , Just came out from jail.
And i meet him though im tired.
So steady sia :x

LOL

Okay guys. gonna stop here.
& i dun feel like booking in.. :(

uhuh.

2010-05-26T04:36:00.000+08:00

ahh. fk it. i got a weird dream. just nia! i dreamt that im in my sec sch~ i quarrel with classmate and the teacher scold me. i used a iron to attack the teacher LOL. then scare dao jiu woke up. -.-

im finding a job.. but the job i found always happened to be in my duty days.. i got too much duty to do alrdy. fk saf. zzz . i really need cash.. :/

Im out of those shits.

2010-05-21T06:39:00.003+08:00

Yea. And i made it. okay well. these is my own record for these few days. 6 sticks for 5 days . Hmms. Im trying to cut down to 1/2 stick / day .. or maybe none ;X

& im thinking whether i should throw my "ashtray" away cux when im at home. I din even moke a stick. though i keep have the urge to smoke :X
Ciggs is getting out of my life. SOON!

Okays. Weeks ago im seriously stressful.
But i tried to forgive and forget. It works. It din lighten my load. But still i see the brighter side of it.
I look at the brighter side of things. I tell myself that it wasn't my fault and i doesn't wan things to turn up like this..

Okay things i did for this week ;

I went to k,
I went to sis grad ceremony,
I went meet old friends,
I went counsel friends,
I went buy new shoe.
I played new game (MonsterForest Online by asiasoft)
I played alot dota. (My skills arent coming back to me T_T)

Im glad that i got 3 off days in the row this week.. Hahaha.
I got 14 hours of sleep. Damn song. Nobody disturb!
BUT.. i got a fucking weird dream ytd..
I dreamt that i was playing some "game"
My mission was to protect the baby that im carrying.. And i was stuck at 12 storey in a building. And i tried to cross the "bridge" to next building. I fall off and the words " YOU ARE DEAD " appear infront of me.
THEN I WOKE UP AND TELL MY SIS. LOL
fuckin weird dream can.
Its been so long time since i last had dreams.

21 days more. I will be leaving singapore for 12 days. TIME TO RELAX MYSELF. NO MORE FML . I WILL MAKE IT TO "LML" ( But still.. FUCK MY ARMY LIFE )

X. if ur reading this. and u treat me as ur best best best friend.
Dun let me disappointed again. Dun give up ur life becux of a fuckin idiot that appeared in ur life can. Dun tell me u cannot do anything. U have tons things to do and before that. forget that fuckin asshole. Its ur life. Dun let anyone control it.

HEYHEYHEY

2010-05-15T11:41:00.000+08:00

Fuck it. im going back camp SOON! .. yeah its saturday. wtf.. =.=

tag if u do read my blog leh. =.=

2010-05-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

If you were to ask me " hey how are you ?" i would simply reply, " my life sucks. "
Like the previous post.. i wrote things im unhappy with. but seems like write down doesnt decrease the weight of load on my back. today, it adds on more weight. this time is isn't on my back. Its on my heart. Its pumping so slow. so weak..

I know i have been complaining about life. In 2months time. From the view of, " dun give up! " now became , " im letting down.. " idk wad happened to me. issit simply becux of that my life sucks. or i cannot afford to lose. Everytime i lost something. i will be emo-ing about it.. i couldn't feel the pride i used to own. i can only feel the shame i've got.

I'm actually beginning to give up r/s.. I dun feel that the problem lies with me. At least i tried . tried to give the person i like wad she wans. Things aren't smooth.. what she told me have slowly becoming lies... This is what i hate .. Fuck life.

life isn't easy

2010-05-08T02:17:00.000+08:00

i hope to be back in my 15 16s. when stress isnt a problem to me. i go to sch. i play my games. i tok cock with my sec frens everyday. so carefree.

when in 17 , i realise money is a very big issue.. money isnt everything. but money can buy almost everything.
i had hard time .. but its all about money.

now im 19 , im carrying a load that i could hardly breathe. troubles everywhere. friendships , love , family , cash , career and future.

i admit i do not have any bright future. in my 19 years of life i cant see anything that im interested in, to work as a career. in fact i doesnt have any skills.

my friendship somehow lets me down. i've been believing in wrong ones over the years. the friends that i could trust i always doesn't know how to appreciate.

My family. i have these problems at home , and yea. since young. i doesnt know how to communicate with my mum. she doesnt praise me. she only scolds me. wadever i did is wrong to her. and she thinks that shes the king. im a slave and i must listen to her. i cant have my own idea. she nags me for money. she nags why my ns life no training and so slack. She doesnt know how much i dislike my NS life. I cant even feel home warmth. Everytime im home. im prepared to get nagged or commanded to do this and that.

My sister , shes good to me, i know. But she doesnt know my problems. The only person i can talk to in the family is her. But im also afraid of talkin my troubles to her.. She has the same character as my mum. but not as stubborn as her.. Well at least when she said she will get me a wardrobe , im happy to hear. My mum doesnt care about how i live.

My relationships . Untill now i doesnt have a stable r/s. Im easy to fall in love. when i do, i dun let go easily. maybe im matured from this. sometimes being bored or alone leads my mind to think far too much.. I dun really understand girls. They are really hard to understand..

Hmms. wad else. .
Ya , cash.
Okay fuck this. im forever short of cash. i wanna get a part time job to pay my debts and get my own stuff. But my timing doesnt suit any job. I dun even know when is my off day.. I really need cash..

I know life sucks. Sometimes i just wish that if i fall asleep i will never wake up. I failed in almost everything i done. Even my best game. Dota. I can play well sometimes. But sometimes i suck. and suck totally. I flopped during my last compy. I had too much self confidence in life. But too much confidence always leads me to much more hurts.

Sometimes i advise other what to do. I listen other people's problems. I tried to counsel them . And i did it. But when similar problems lies on me. I just couldn't get rid of it..

2010. Bad year

2010-05-06T19:31:00.000+08:00

i hate this kinda feeling..

2010-05-06T01:05:00.002+08:00

My best day in my 2010. Thk god that i finally found someone i love.
I just went movie with her. watch ip man. simply love the feeling being with her.

YANTING <3 ILOVEYOU!

2010-05-03T01:13:00.002+08:00

Too many things to complain alrdy.
FIRSTLY! FUCK STARHUB!
resumed my line but its not even stable. wtf.
Play dota and got like 6 secs delay. Spike delay. =.=
Zzz

Okay. I seriously dunno how to survive my next month. too many shits to pay alrdy.
Fuck it. My pay isnt even enuff for my damn debts.
I wanted to get a job. But to think of it. I dun even know when is my off and when's my duty. Wtf.

Im quitting smoking. Try not to tempt me with ciggs (:
And im tired now. Bye

2010-04-19T05:37:00.000+08:00

I hope u are the cute and simple minded , like 2 years ago.
Unlike now. Realistic and proud..
Really..

你说我比较像你的好朋友

2010-04-06T20:30:00.003+08:00

I have made up my mind. :)
Well.
Goals and achievements set for myself.
As well as things to be done ASAP!

1) Settle my debts. In my calculation. My debts will be cleared by at most 4 months :p
Of cux that includes of daily usage.
2) Buying own stuff ; Formal suit ( for my sis grad & Attending kor's wedding & celebration. If i manage to get my visa done so that i might go his wedding at msia. )
3) Getting a AT LEAST DIPLOMA before the age of 24. Of cux that includes of finishing my NS.
4) Decoration for my room. Yeah i long had dreams about how to decorate. Just that im short of cash. :p

Ok thats for Goals and Lil Bit of Achievements i want.
I mixed with some people in my NS.
Their successful made me jealous.
I have the confidence i can do better.
They had A lvls. A much more brighter future than a N lvl dude. Well i din even take my N lvl cert. Its still in my sec sch. How fail. Lol.

As for my love life.
Well i am struggling.
Recently a girl told me that she is sad.
I asked why. She said the guy she like doesnt know that she likes him.
I felt so much sad out of sudden.
I feel like telling her. I am sad too. The girl i like for so long. Been waiting for so long. Doesn't even give me chance. Yet she like someone else.
Well. She doesn't know i like her. Times i told her , i does't know how to be sincere. I was smiling. She thought im joking .
She dunno that im looking at the pic we took together , everyday , smiling foolishly to myself.
I have been hinting her. She will pretend that she doesn't know.
I would joke with her. But in my jokes i wish that was true.

Well. She will never know. Hah.
Wad do i lack? Looks? Cash? Ya so? but i got full of heart waiting for her.

Hmms. Forget ittttttttttt.

Anyway peeps. Im in camp. I feel like not going back home for this week.
Sad that i do not have enuff uniforms :p

Text me. Im bored. 94510367

YAWNS

2010-03-23T07:48:00.002+08:00

After 3 days of rest. so shiok can.
finally.
today is my book in day.
dunno when will i book out :/

I hope that cb cheehong is not on MC.
so that i can watch the movies i put in his itouch. hehehe.
:X

Recently.
Never use phone.
the feeling damn weird can.
I wan get back my line. dunno need wait till when sia.
damn cb one.

ok. http://apps.facebook.com/quizdoyouknowme/quiz.jsp?rp=1&key=ORW3&q=22584869 << gogo visit. hehe. take my quizzzz :D

BYe dead blog :p

okay. i nothing to post alrdy. Bye dead blog ^^

2010-03-21T07:55:00.002+08:00

I will wait for you.

I cant wait for the days.
Being with u again.

I wan a girlfriend.

2010-03-15T04:27:00.002+08:00

WEll........

ahhh.
My phone kenna cut. Stupid starhub,
They overcharged me and says that they will solve the problem.
then now cut my line.
EVen before i recieve my bill..
wtf..

Okay.
Just got pay.
Damn little i know.
And i spend alot alrdy.
+ i return fren money.
Haiya 1 word , "POOR"

Few days ago went club with some frens.
haha.
It has been quite some time since i last went clubbing :p
But then.
VERY CHOR LA.
I pay 40$ for a mouthful of drink.
Zzz

Then cab there and back home... damn chor..

MY LEG GOT SWOLLEN.
STUPID MOSQUITOE BITE. ZZ

WELL!

2010-03-07T22:26:00.003+08:00

ok currently im in camp :/

next detail is on 12am.
so got quite awhile to use comp :X
hehehe

well.
ytd went for kor's gf bday celebration.
ate dinner with kor , his gf and binwen.
total cost is 100+ i guess :X
i din spend a cent. hehehe

also.
recently also nothing special .
book out stay home play comp.
also never slack with frens.
damn sian.

WHY MY TAGBOX DIE ALRDY

2010-02-24T00:57:00.001+08:00

Happy bdae to me~

2010-02-23T02:41:00.001+08:00

Hi today not my bdae.

2010-02-22T04:37:00.001+08:00

hehe.
recieve alot of bday msg :p
Ty guys :x

but then. today not my bdae la.
zzz

tmr then 23rd leh.
i feel like celebrating..
but celebrate alrdy.
):

3 more days.

2010-02-21T00:44:00.001+08:00

prepare ur presents!

Hey

2010-02-20T02:48:00.001+08:00

currently in camp :/
just finish duty :p
should be slping now but dk why not tired. ):

hope later i work i wont fall aslp :p
frens all enjoying now but im in camp ):

From tmr till next week sunday i only got 2 working days. SONG AH! :D
But no more money let me enjoy le ):

BAD CNY!

2010-02-14T01:49:00.005+08:00

HAPPY CNY AND VALENTINES!
okay well. this year's valentine im single.
in fact. every year's valentine im single.
i've never receive any valentine present before ):

Some kind heart get me a present pls!

Hmms.
Today i went cousin house.
Had steamboat there.
Damn full ! :x

then then come back home at around 2230
then then then meet mum and help her carry our reunion dinner at 2300
wait for abt 30mins then she come -_-

had reunion dinner at about 12am ;p
PICS!

LOL

2010-02-08T19:19:00.008+08:00

idk why. sometimes i know that person is sad i feel damn happy LOL.

ok well.
chaletttt.

I swear.

2010-02-02T20:03:00.002+08:00

She will be out of my mind by tonight. :)

Chalet on o6o7o8 FEB
Those frens that are coming . tell me.

GOING SING AND CLUB ON THURS :)

Drunk words. but its all true..

2010-01-30T03:57:00.005+08:00

1 year gonna pass.
my heart has never changed.

i love u. i had to admit.
but now i hate u.
i hate u for not giving me a second chance.
I hate u for giving me up
In fact.
i love u too deep..

u are angry when i put the date.
i dun let u see.
so wad?
I rmb wadever u dislike. i rmb wadever u like.
i rmb everything u did for me.
Now i could feel every feelings u had for me.
I miss ur smile.
I miss our quarrels.
I miss everything we had done together.

I regret.
I regret i dint treat u better
I regret i let u down
I regret i i never love you so much as now.

But still.
I love you
I love the way u care.
I love the way u smile.
I love the way, when ur angry with me but still thinks for me.

How many people know wad im thinking.
How many people understand wad im trying to do.
How many people know my lifestyle.

I speak to u.
I listen to u.
I think for u.

But ur heart isnt with me anymore.
Ya, long ago it wasnt with me..

Birthday is coming.
I dont intent to make wishes.
Cux..
Birthday wish are lies.
I made 3 wishes in my life.
They never came true..

When im 10 ,
i wish that my mum and dad wont quarrel so much.

When im 13 ,
I wish that my parents wont divorce.

When im 18 ,
I wish that u will still be celebrating my birthday with me next year.
..

Its all lies..
None of them came true..
I lack of family love.
I lack of frenship love.
I lack of Girlfren's love..
Wad can i do?

Im so afraid to speak to someone.
There isnt anybody i could trust.
I wanna be selfish.
I wanna care for myself.

If u ever ask me,
Whats up with me?

No, none of u asked me.
I have been keeping my feelings for so so long.
I wanna release it.
Im so tired.
Really so tired..

2010-01-28T20:27:00.002+08:00

Hais.. Really ah.. Idunno wad to post. Work untill very shag sia .. My sleepin time is all mixed up.. I dun wanna care abt wad r/s wadever le.. Damn sian............. Tmr must drink. Cheehong a fk up (: * note:cheehong is a name :x

2010-01-28T12:33:00.001+08:00

You are right.
Bye

;x

2010-01-28T00:04:00.005+08:00

---------------------------------

friday i wan to drink drink drink.
forget everything. !!

101st post :D

2010-01-23T14:24:00.001+08:00

ok well..
this week. i spend 20$ only !! :D

2010-01-21T15:34:00.003+08:00

I said all that.
yeap i said.

In order to forget about me is to hate me .
I got no choice.

&
I dunno why..

Wad am i?
To you.

Its love.

2010-01-20T03:08:00.001+08:00

Jacq.

imissyou hell lots..

AARON I WILL MISS U ONE!

2010-01-19T22:29:00.003+08:00

walao. i gonna miss aaron la.
his bdae coming soon alrdy then now kenna caught.
sunday i still ton with him one leh!! D:

zzz

2010-01-18T09:27:00.002+08:00

Oh ok well.
Just came back from ahboy house..
damn bored.
took some lame pics there and uploaded to fb alrdy :D

later going back camp.
i ton untill now dun wan to sleep so that i will sleep in camp.
waste my time siaaaaa.

STAND STAND STAND STAND STAND. I HATE THIS KINDA NS LIFE.
No excite-ment at all!

hais

2010-01-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

I really dun like staying home when shes here. -.-
fckin no sense of secure.
zzz

i going out eat alrdy.
call her dabao for me and sis also never buy anything
still okok
make us wait for 3 hours then need find own food.
damn fk up.

I NEVER MISS YOU.
SO STOP MISSING ME ALSO.
MAKE UR LIFE EASIER

IM ALRDY USED TO BEING ALONE.

xD

2010-01-16T22:46:00.002+08:00

tmr going dota compy.
wish me luck ok :)

i very bored..

2010-01-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

メinglei says:
u got hair handsome
メinglei says:
no hair like my backside

best description of botak
but wtf i now got hair alrdy leh.

poor alrdy..

2010-01-11T20:09:00.003+08:00

:(
i wanna meet frens.
now now now now now now now now now ..............
im so.
empty inside.

Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn la.

& my starhub bill is 150$
90$ from sms?
lame. i got free sms wad. anyhow.
gonna complain soon ;x

):):):
i hope i can escape from reality. :/

xD

2010-01-07T21:28:00.000+08:00

oh well.
Recently was staying at home. & at camp.
the duty is damn boring pls.
and now getting more and more shag.
cux our shift is longer and longer ):

and well.
been playing dota.
my skills getting back alrdy.
haha.

tuesday met binwen acc him go orchard buy belt.
well.
he spent 140 on a belt.
then i saw the jacket over there that attracts my view.
but the cost is .. $200..

how to spend this kinda money. idk -_-
but i think i will buy that jacket sooner or later.
see how ba. in love with it :X

meetin my love this sun <3
cant wait alrdy.
somemore this sat sun monday i offday.
super song pls (:
haha.

okay well.
tc humans

sigh

2009-12-31T09:39:00.001+08:00

wtf man. today go back camp.
duty at new year eve really suck! ):

<3 huiling :)

2009-12-30T11:50:00.003+08:00

ok well.
previously my comp was down so i din get a chance to blog.
hmms.

now i dunno wan to say wad.
okay.

im very content with my love life with laopo (:
i hope we wont quarrel so much like before

and yeah.
you getting more and more sweet. <3

;D ily

2009-12-22T11:22:00.001+08:00

OK WELL!. thats my team for alienware.
they suck! :D
:X:X:X

WENBIN'S LIFESTORY

Lol.

If only

2 in 1 post

Im sorry

Sweet sweet you

I smiled

The end.

I miss you

Falling apart at midnight

A family?

More than words

♫Perfect - Hedley♫

♫Perfect - Hedley♫

I am so sorry

You know what?

Kurogi's passing

For tears won't bring me back what had been lost,But for certain, my tears did bring me,Regretful and back to reality."

Good night, Nevermore

Sipping sizzurp in my ride, like three 6

Now I'm feelin' so fly like a G6

Kuro San - Day 1 & 2

I'm sorry

Apologies

Good night, first night

I'm gonna miss you

TODAY!

Slightly...disappointed?

RE: Thank you for everything

Thank you for everything

Its our 2nd month :>

Baby baby

Well.

What should i do?

B , this post is for you

Happy birthday to you , my love.

Dun worry im fine.

Hi frens.!

Fever. Cough. Sore throat. Flu..

uhuh.

Im out of those shits.

HEYHEYHEY

life isn't easy

你说我比较像你的好朋友

YAWNS

I wan a girlfriend.

WELL!

WHY MY TAGBOX DIE ALRDY

Happy bdae to me~

Hi today not my bdae.

3 more days.

Hey

LOL

I swear.

Drunk words. but its all true..

;x

101st post :D

Its love.

AARON I WILL MISS U ONE!

hais

xD

poor alrdy..

xD

sigh

<3 huiling :)

;D ily

For tears won't bring me back what had been lost,
But for certain, my tears did bring me,
Regretful and back to reality."