i hate 2009

fkin dulan. no mood. do wad also fail.
now u tell me that really i demoralise in everything.


i put how much trust and faith also no use now. only get back pains.
guess i shld just fuck care all wadever feelings and do wadever thing i wan.
actually i alrdy know this day is soon.
but i dun expect that to be so soon.
before my countdown ends?
its only a 5 days
for so many weeks i never chat with a girl?


wads the difference between forget and fade?
if i say i forget u. that equals that ur nothing to me.
if i say i fade ? so wad are u to me? fren? an online fren?

really..
im fking pissed..
i dunno is this angry or rather sad.
everyday i was wishing for ur sms.
today sms u never reply i know something is weird alrdy.
when i recieve it .. thats so wrong. real wrong.

i prepared things for u.
now i kept it for myself?
i tried to listen to u.
now i have to speak to myself?
im waiting for the day to see you.
now i saw the day u left me.

i know i hurt you.
maybe that kinda hurt is very painful that u wont heal.
idk?
im sorry?
its no use i know.
im more like a pussy than a man right now.
being afraid to hurt u, scare to say words that might lead me to being rude?








when everything is stressing me
who should i complain to?
who the fk knows wad im thinking?
its seriously nobody.
who know wad i like and dislike?
even my damn parents dunno.
but why should i care for people that wad they like or dislike?
why the fk im doing all this?
in my whole fking 18 years that i have lived.
how many times do u think i will fell for a girl?
its only twice untill now, i can said.
if u never suddenly pop out in my life.
i guess i would still be thinking my ex..













........................ nothing to say.
i hope i will fking forget u very soon.
this is heartaching for fuck sake.