I am so sorry

Life was fine until recently,

I am sorry for not having been honest with you and myself. I have been so selfish -- pushing blames here and there. Living my life an entire lie.
I can and I will change.

I can smoke a lot less.
I can spend a lot less.
I can not take cabs at all.
I can find a better job.
I will do whatever I have to do...
To be less of a burden to you..
And everyone else who had to suffer along with me.

As if your life was not hard enough, all I did was made it harder...
I know I suck and I am terribly sorry about it.

At least now that I am living with you, I will not have to bring a single cent home.
For the first time in my life, I am going to start working for money that will belong to only me.
And till I settle down, I am going to be much of a problem...
Dakara.. Don't leave me, okay?

Yes, it is the first time that I am so too afraid of being alone. Too much fear and pressure to comprehend, it might just succeed in driving me insane.

B, Sven.